Fulfilling the Need

As I am reading The Edible Woman, by Margaret Atwood I am constantly found questioning myself on why Marian keeps returning to Duncan, the lowlife graduate student with no push to ever make anything of himself.  I am conflicted with the facts of their contrary personalities and outlooks on life.  Marian seems to want to make something of herself.  She wants to find a new and prospering job, have a husband, and one day be a mother so it seems.  On the contrary, Duncan is a shriveled up, long past graduation, graduate student looking for nothing more in life other than another cigarette.

 In addition to their contrasting personalities, Marian is engaged!  This is why I am faced with the question of why Marian feels the need to return to Duncan again and again.  What is Marian's purpose in seeing Duncan?  Of course the first couple times they met it was coincidental.  In fact, after their first meeting I am surprised Marian did not refuse to speak to him when they ran into each other a second time.  Marian never truly states it, but everytime she thinks of Duncan she feels somewhat content.  She talks of hoping to see him out and even purposely goes to places where she has a better chance of seeing him, like the laundromat. 

The piece that really confuses me is that Duncan continually tells Marian that she does not mean anything to him.  She is what Duncan calls a "subsitute".  In this scene on page 156, Marian then contemplates to herself what he is a "subsitute" for then, in her case.  This is the scene from where my question resignates.  What need is Marian fulfilling with seeing Duncan?  Is it so she does not have to face her real friends (if she has any), her real fiance, or just her real life?

I believe that Marian is feeling like she is being taken captive in her own body and relationships.  She feels taken control of.  When her self-centered roomate Ainsley, is around, Marian is either being negatively judged or just ignored.  When she visits with Clara, her friend from college who now seems to just be wasting away in motherhood, all she hears about is Clara's life.  In the office, Marian gets caught up in the life of surveys and gossip from the "office virgins" that is completely irrelevant to her own life.  In addition to all this, when she is with her controlling fiance, Peter, he practically decides every move that she is going to make and if she does not do what he would prefer, he gets upset and disappointed.  To Marian, it seems like no one cares.  When Marian meets Duncan, I believe she feels that he is not holding her down or holding her back in life.  She is able to talk to someone who does not judge her.  Duncan temporarily fills her needs, just as she fills his.  No one cares about her: her life, her emotions, or her future.  Marian is slowly sinking into a depression and of which type no one is quite certain or aware of.  She cannot even determine what is going on with herself.  Marian's response to this is that her body and mind start rejecting food.  It is not that she is not hungry, she just cannot eat the food because she sees it still as living and remembers where it came from. 

I believe this rejection of food is her acting out on the uncertainty of her life.  Deep down, she knows her life is not going in the right direction.  This mindset is what causes theseactions in many people today.  People do not know what to do in their life.  They feel the need to be noticed, or to be understood.  I believe Marian's actions convey the actions of many in the real world.  People are looking to be helped or even to just be understood. 

I am taken back again to my question of why Marian needs to keep retreating to see Duncan.  What does he fulfill in her?  Deep down, I believe that Duncan fulfills all of Marian's needs.  Temporarily or not, he is able to do it somehow.  At this point in my reading it seems as if he is able to fulfill her biggest need, the need to stay alive and well: her need of mental food.

Welcome to Food and Women's Literature

I guess you could say I have an obsession for ice cream. You name a flavor, I like it! Not only ice cream, but any type of food is something I have always enjoyed. So much so, that when I was younger my older brothers made fun of me for how much and what I ate. As I have grown older not much has changed! I like to think of eating as my hobby!

I'm excited to start English 316 because it combines two of my favorite items: food and literature.  I'm looking forward to growing as both a reader and also hopefully in my knowledge of food and how we relate to it.